8/8/07
From my Sociology journal:
We are no longer in the familiarity of Denver. We spent the last two and a half days in Gallup, New Mexico, and are currently in transit between there and Tucson, Arizona.
Even though the time spent in Gallup was exceptionally brief, it was still a very memorable experience. I stayed with a host family of immigrants from India along with three of my cast mates and our cast director. My host parents were particularly generous (not to mention phenomenal cooks), and it was great to learn about their culture. They also had two pet cats, which was very delightful for me since it reminded me of my cat back home.
While at our host family's house, I also had some very rewarding conversations with my roommates, though some of these conversations led to a bit of embarrassment on my part. One of these was when my roommates from China and the Netherlands revealed that they both knew George W. Bush's middle name, whereas neither of my American roommates nor myself knew this little snippet of information.
The other embarrassing conversation was very similar - this occurred when my Dutch and Chinese roommates once again displayed their outstanding intelligence by playing this game where one would name a country and the other would name its capitol. They were correct for nearly all of them, but Justen (from Texas) and I knew close to zero. The really embarrassing part was when they moved to our state capitols, and they knew more of those than we Americans did. It was only slightly reassuring when they both admitted that they hadn't gained all of their geographical knowledge from school, but had studied maps a lot on their free time. Either way, I was quite ashamed of my ignorance (especially since my dad teaches geography).
Last night, however, we stayed up 'til two in the morning having an existential conversation about religion, infinity, the possibility of an afterlife, and other such things. I somewhat redeemed my dignity since this was much more familiar territory for me, but nevertheless I made a vow to myself to improve my geography (which will undoubtedly start to happen on the this trip).
My education was once again put in question today during a really good conversation that I had with my "bus date" from Germany. We were discussing the differences between the German and American education systems. It turns out that she had learned about many subjects during high school that weren't even offered to me until college, such as philosophy, world religions, and ethics. She had also received a much more efficient high school education in regards to such subjects as the natural sciences as well as foreign language (which was obvious, since it's the USA we're talking about). I was a little embarrassed, but I was even more outraged that I had been deprived of such knowledge.
Why is it that our society deems it unnecessary to teach its youth about foreign cultures, languages, and religions? More and more I am becoming rather disgusted by my country's ethnocentrism. I mean, many people don't even go to college, and therefore remain in ignorance about important subjects that aren't even introduced until the college level. I think it would be a great idea for high schoolers to take a class in world religions - maybe then there would be less discrimination and misunderstanding of others' cultures. I mean, there are so many Americans who are blatantly prejudiced against Muslims these days, but I can guarantee that the majority of those people don't have a CLUE about Islam or its teachings. In fact, it is somewhat sadly humorous that many of the Christians who are prejudiced against Muslims are COMPLETELY oblivious to the fact that both Christianity and Islam (as well as Judaism) in fact share the same roots!!
It's just not fair that I had to go out of my way to learn about some of these important, relevant subjects if I didn't want to wait until college to find out about them. It is especially unfair when you consider the fact that the system could have easily provided me the opportunity to do so; similar to Germany and many of the other developed nations in the world.
Maybe I just had an incompetent high school, coming from rural Wyoming and all (I never even had the opportunity to study sociology until I cam to USD), but unfortunately, I have a feeling that this is probably the case for most schools throughout the nation. But then, maybe I should stop bitching and actually strive to make a change.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
My First Poem of this Trip
This is the first poem I have written since I've started my journey! It doesn't have a name yet.
This Ipod's been plugged into
electricity in Thailand
but this isn't an advertisement
because I detest capitalist philosophy
But, you know,
sometimes there's beauty
in such things as candy commercials
but it's hard to deal with
since its primary goal
is just to sell you shit
it's maker's intentions were certainly not
to create anything that's art
But then,
who am I to say
that I honestly know their intentions
maybe 'twas an artistic soul
whose only medium was in big business
and they don't care
'cause they worry not
and are only doing what they love
And then
I wish they'd just see the light
and examine their wee global grab-bag
but then again it's maybe just me
that just needs to just settle down
to realize that, yes, I do loathe that shit
but to not so promptly deny it has beauty
that everything's a mixture
even capitalism
so I'll just try to just let things be
I just won't forget still to think
This Ipod's been plugged into
electricity in Thailand
but this isn't an advertisement
because I detest capitalist philosophy
But, you know,
sometimes there's beauty
in such things as candy commercials
but it's hard to deal with
since its primary goal
is just to sell you shit
it's maker's intentions were certainly not
to create anything that's art
But then,
who am I to say
that I honestly know their intentions
maybe 'twas an artistic soul
whose only medium was in big business
and they don't care
'cause they worry not
and are only doing what they love
And then
I wish they'd just see the light
and examine their wee global grab-bag
but then again it's maybe just me
that just needs to just settle down
to realize that, yes, I do loathe that shit
but to not so promptly deny it has beauty
that everything's a mixture
even capitalism
so I'll just try to just let things be
I just won't forget still to think
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Goodbye Denver
Everything just seems so sweet.
I would say euphoric, but you see, I've cried too already, and this afternoon I actually became rather angry. It's just that everything seems so real; so pure; I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of just living in each moment and simply experiencing it with the most oomph I can muster.
Tonight was the first show of the tour, and tomorrow is, unbelievably, our last day in Denver. The show was absolutely splendid, and it was wonderful to realize that we can actually do this.
Before the show, we had our very first "green room", which is a Shakespearean concept, in which all of the "actors" meet together prior to a performance in a room adjoining the stage. We did some fun and silly things of course, such as the now-trademark dance party, but we also had a few very emotional moments in which Kristen helped us to reminisce about all the steps in our life that brought us to that very moment, and Andrew read more of his ever-exceptionally-beautiful writing in the form of the first letter in a book we'll be passing around (this one was to Faith, which I quickly realized because she had been very inspirational to me in ways similar to those that Andrew described). Needless to say, I cried during several of those moments, which is a very big thing for me since very rarely do I cry in front of people (even John and Kayla). I think this says a lot about what a wonderful program Up With People really is, and even more about what a spectacular group of people this is that I'll be spending such an important part of my life with. I truly adore these people, and already I feel that some of these friendships just might end up being some of the most important in the course of my life.
Even some of the people that I haven't gotten to know particularly well yet have already inspired me. For instance, today at lunch , one of the students in Cast B was making some very homophobic comments, which started out with "Here comes gay Grant". Now, I presume that Grant is not gay, but either way, it was very obvious that this individual was using the word in a very derogative way (I also witnessed a conversation yesterday when he said that his solution to the war in Iraq would be to go over there and shoot every person who wasn't white, or black, which he added simply as an afterthought just because Justin was there - how this individual ended up in Up With People is beyond me, but I sincerely hope that it will do him some good). Anyways, the thing that inspired me was that in response to this comment, Dave spoke up and said (in an impressively polite yet assertive way) something along the lines of "I would prefer if you didn't use that word like that". I was deeply impressed with his ability to speak up against homophobia in such a rational way (especially since Dave if one of the most masculine guys on the cast), and I really appreciated this gesture. Unfortunately, the homophobic individual proceeded to make an extremely uncalled-for direct personal attack against one of the [more obviously gay] staff members who wasn't present at the moment. At least I was happy to see that this statement was greeted with an exceptionally cold silence from all of those who were present. Needless to say, this was the aforementioned incident that made me angry.
Anyway, once again there have been too many notable things going on for me to write about in detail, but here are some of them in brief:
It was very strange and delightful to have several of my family members here with my host family for the evening of my dress rehearsal.
I had [another] very insightful conversation about cultural differences in regards to the word "love".
I finished the final installment of the Harry Potter series!
Sherlock told me I look sexy with a beard. I'm not sure how much to read into that.
Raine and I noticed that above his bed there were several plain old B's on the unfinished ceiling, whereas there were several C's above mine. Some might call it destiny.
Justin referred to me as a 'very wise person'.
I'm laying in the basement next to an empty bed because Raine left today. I didn't realize just how fond I'd grown of him, cynicism and all, but I assure you that it's a strictly platonic fondness.
I've become even more knowledged about the unreliability of first impressions.
And once again, I've probably forgotten a lot of significant things, but I think I'm getting more accustomed to the inevitability of my poor memory, so I just try to make the actual present events as worthwhile as possible.
I also wanted to write about the future (even though this experience is really helping me to just live in the present), but I'm having one last brunch with my host family tomorrow, and should therefore get a little bit of shut-eye.
I would say euphoric, but you see, I've cried too already, and this afternoon I actually became rather angry. It's just that everything seems so real; so pure; I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of just living in each moment and simply experiencing it with the most oomph I can muster.
Tonight was the first show of the tour, and tomorrow is, unbelievably, our last day in Denver. The show was absolutely splendid, and it was wonderful to realize that we can actually do this.
Before the show, we had our very first "green room", which is a Shakespearean concept, in which all of the "actors" meet together prior to a performance in a room adjoining the stage. We did some fun and silly things of course, such as the now-trademark dance party, but we also had a few very emotional moments in which Kristen helped us to reminisce about all the steps in our life that brought us to that very moment, and Andrew read more of his ever-exceptionally-beautiful writing in the form of the first letter in a book we'll be passing around (this one was to Faith, which I quickly realized because she had been very inspirational to me in ways similar to those that Andrew described). Needless to say, I cried during several of those moments, which is a very big thing for me since very rarely do I cry in front of people (even John and Kayla). I think this says a lot about what a wonderful program Up With People really is, and even more about what a spectacular group of people this is that I'll be spending such an important part of my life with. I truly adore these people, and already I feel that some of these friendships just might end up being some of the most important in the course of my life.
Even some of the people that I haven't gotten to know particularly well yet have already inspired me. For instance, today at lunch , one of the students in Cast B was making some very homophobic comments, which started out with "Here comes gay Grant". Now, I presume that Grant is not gay, but either way, it was very obvious that this individual was using the word in a very derogative way (I also witnessed a conversation yesterday when he said that his solution to the war in Iraq would be to go over there and shoot every person who wasn't white, or black, which he added simply as an afterthought just because Justin was there - how this individual ended up in Up With People is beyond me, but I sincerely hope that it will do him some good). Anyways, the thing that inspired me was that in response to this comment, Dave spoke up and said (in an impressively polite yet assertive way) something along the lines of "I would prefer if you didn't use that word like that". I was deeply impressed with his ability to speak up against homophobia in such a rational way (especially since Dave if one of the most masculine guys on the cast), and I really appreciated this gesture. Unfortunately, the homophobic individual proceeded to make an extremely uncalled-for direct personal attack against one of the [more obviously gay] staff members who wasn't present at the moment. At least I was happy to see that this statement was greeted with an exceptionally cold silence from all of those who were present. Needless to say, this was the aforementioned incident that made me angry.
Anyway, once again there have been too many notable things going on for me to write about in detail, but here are some of them in brief:
It was very strange and delightful to have several of my family members here with my host family for the evening of my dress rehearsal.
I had [another] very insightful conversation about cultural differences in regards to the word "love".
I finished the final installment of the Harry Potter series!
Sherlock told me I look sexy with a beard. I'm not sure how much to read into that.
Raine and I noticed that above his bed there were several plain old B's on the unfinished ceiling, whereas there were several C's above mine. Some might call it destiny.
Justin referred to me as a 'very wise person'.
I'm laying in the basement next to an empty bed because Raine left today. I didn't realize just how fond I'd grown of him, cynicism and all, but I assure you that it's a strictly platonic fondness.
I've become even more knowledged about the unreliability of first impressions.
And once again, I've probably forgotten a lot of significant things, but I think I'm getting more accustomed to the inevitability of my poor memory, so I just try to make the actual present events as worthwhile as possible.
I also wanted to write about the future (even though this experience is really helping me to just live in the present), but I'm having one last brunch with my host family tomorrow, and should therefore get a little bit of shut-eye.
Those Silly Americans
From my sociology journal - 7/23/07
The other day I had a really good conversation with my friend Carolin from Germany. We were walking in downtown Denver with some friends, but we had fallen behind them and were having a sort of heart-to-heart.
One thing that we had both noticed about the casts was that it sometimes seems as if most of the Americans just stuck to each other most of the time. Since approximately half of the cast is American, I suppose this is somewhat understandable, but it's still kind of disappointing. Carolin said that she sometimes has felt lonely because of this (that was one of the questions in our "cross the line" game that day). Since English is their first language, it's probably only natural that the Americans feel an affinity towards each other, and they often crack jokes that most people who aren't native English speakers wouldn't understand.
Because of this, I have been making it a point to go out of my way to get to know my international castmates, and so far I've made some incredible connections with them. It seems like most of the Asian students are often overlooked by many of the Westerners, probably because of the drastic culture differences, but I've found that most of them are actually very sociable if you just give them a chance. I'm trying to make the most of this amazing opportunity to communicate with foreign students, since who knows if I'll ever get that chance again.
The other day I had a really good conversation with my friend Carolin from Germany. We were walking in downtown Denver with some friends, but we had fallen behind them and were having a sort of heart-to-heart.
One thing that we had both noticed about the casts was that it sometimes seems as if most of the Americans just stuck to each other most of the time. Since approximately half of the cast is American, I suppose this is somewhat understandable, but it's still kind of disappointing. Carolin said that she sometimes has felt lonely because of this (that was one of the questions in our "cross the line" game that day). Since English is their first language, it's probably only natural that the Americans feel an affinity towards each other, and they often crack jokes that most people who aren't native English speakers wouldn't understand.
Because of this, I have been making it a point to go out of my way to get to know my international castmates, and so far I've made some incredible connections with them. It seems like most of the Asian students are often overlooked by many of the Westerners, probably because of the drastic culture differences, but I've found that most of them are actually very sociable if you just give them a chance. I'm trying to make the most of this amazing opportunity to communicate with foreign students, since who knows if I'll ever get that chance again.
Ani setlist
Ani DiFranco at the Botanic Gardens - 7/22/07
God's Country
Half-Assed
Fuel
You Had Time (which was a very, very, very pleasant surprise)
Lag Time
Modulation
Napoleon
Paradigm
New Song about glaring in the mirror and nothing being wrong with your face
New song with a couple lyrics about a polar bear
New song that I think was Alla This
Nicotine
Little Plastic Castle
Manhole
Untouchable Face (hooray!)
Shameless
Encore:
Evolve (which I psychically predicted she would play for the encore)
Gravel
32 Flavors
God's Country
Half-Assed
Fuel
You Had Time (which was a very, very, very pleasant surprise)
Lag Time
Modulation
Napoleon
Paradigm
New Song about glaring in the mirror and nothing being wrong with your face
New song with a couple lyrics about a polar bear
New song that I think was Alla This
Nicotine
Little Plastic Castle
Manhole
Untouchable Face (hooray!)
Shameless
Encore:
Evolve (which I psychically predicted she would play for the encore)
Gravel
32 Flavors
The 13-Year-Old Girl in Me
7/20/07 (I know, I'm getting really behind)
So today I was asked for my number. You know what kind of being asked for a number I'm talking about. It came as a bit of a surprise though, because it came from someone who I would have never guessed would have a crush on someone like me (except for this last week when he started flirting rather blatantly). Wow, and I just realized how much this is sounding like a thirteen-year-old girl's diary (except for maybe the usage of words such as 'blatantly'). So maybe I should try a different approach.
But anyways, today was our first CI (community impact) project, and we went out to the mountains to build a trail. I go hiking every now and then, but I never fully appreciated those hiking trails until I learned how they're created. It was a lot of fun though, and it was a nice change of pace from all the daily dancing, singing, and other such show-related things. About half of the day was spent traveling to and from the place on bus, and it was cool to have pretty much the whole day just to chat with castmates. I had a good conversation with Fan on the way home, and it turns out that I'm the first gay friend she's ever had (apparently people are much more introverted about such matters in China). I told her I was honored to be her first. Woohoo!
I also got to know this individual who asked for my number quite a bit better today (he'll remain anonymous here), and this boy never ceases to surprise me. I mean, he is unbelievably outgoing and, for lack of a better word, cool, but today I found out a plethora of interesting personality traits about him, such as the fact that he enjoys WOW (World of Warcraft), and the fact that he's a virgin, despite his blatant openness about sex and sexuality. Deep down he's just a hopeless romantic.
But tonight when we were leaving the event center, he asked me for my phone number (and informed me that it would be quite alright if I refused to give it to him), and then suggested that we hang out this weekend. I told him there were still tickets available to the Ani DiFranco concert on Sunday, and he said he'd give me a call.
I'm still not quite sure of what to think of all this though. I mean, I just don't see what he sees in me. And I'm not just being self-deprecating. It's just that he is so extroverted, outspoken, and well-spoken, that I just feel kind of nerdy and/or boring in comparison. The thing is, I do find him rather attractive - he has a zestily interesting personality, and he is rather physically attractive as well, but I just don't see our personality types (Type 2 and Type 7, as Sara and the enniagram would probably categorize them) blending very well in a relationship. And, there are other guys I'm attracted to on the cast as well (though in some cases it's rather frustrating because I have absolutely no idea if my Gaydar works cross-culturally). Anyways, I'm probably just being way to analytical and should just take some chances and let things happen.
So today I was asked for my number. You know what kind of being asked for a number I'm talking about. It came as a bit of a surprise though, because it came from someone who I would have never guessed would have a crush on someone like me (except for this last week when he started flirting rather blatantly). Wow, and I just realized how much this is sounding like a thirteen-year-old girl's diary (except for maybe the usage of words such as 'blatantly'). So maybe I should try a different approach.
But anyways, today was our first CI (community impact) project, and we went out to the mountains to build a trail. I go hiking every now and then, but I never fully appreciated those hiking trails until I learned how they're created. It was a lot of fun though, and it was a nice change of pace from all the daily dancing, singing, and other such show-related things. About half of the day was spent traveling to and from the place on bus, and it was cool to have pretty much the whole day just to chat with castmates. I had a good conversation with Fan on the way home, and it turns out that I'm the first gay friend she's ever had (apparently people are much more introverted about such matters in China). I told her I was honored to be her first. Woohoo!
I also got to know this individual who asked for my number quite a bit better today (he'll remain anonymous here), and this boy never ceases to surprise me. I mean, he is unbelievably outgoing and, for lack of a better word, cool, but today I found out a plethora of interesting personality traits about him, such as the fact that he enjoys WOW (World of Warcraft), and the fact that he's a virgin, despite his blatant openness about sex and sexuality. Deep down he's just a hopeless romantic.
But tonight when we were leaving the event center, he asked me for my phone number (and informed me that it would be quite alright if I refused to give it to him), and then suggested that we hang out this weekend. I told him there were still tickets available to the Ani DiFranco concert on Sunday, and he said he'd give me a call.
I'm still not quite sure of what to think of all this though. I mean, I just don't see what he sees in me. And I'm not just being self-deprecating. It's just that he is so extroverted, outspoken, and well-spoken, that I just feel kind of nerdy and/or boring in comparison. The thing is, I do find him rather attractive - he has a zestily interesting personality, and he is rather physically attractive as well, but I just don't see our personality types (Type 2 and Type 7, as Sara and the enniagram would probably categorize them) blending very well in a relationship. And, there are other guys I'm attracted to on the cast as well (though in some cases it's rather frustrating because I have absolutely no idea if my Gaydar works cross-culturally). Anyways, I'm probably just being way to analytical and should just take some chances and let things happen.
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